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Making it Through the Rough Patch

Everyone who’s getting ready to tie the knot has heard that marriage can be tough, but they never really believe it. That is, not until after they’ve gotten over the honeymoon phase, and started to have real problems with their spouse. Nobody wants to get divorced, but for some couples, they see it as the only option. Usually, it’s not. I’m not saying that people who are in abusive or irreparably strained relationships need to stay together, but I am saying that there are a lot of studies that back up marriage counseling as a way to repair seemingly “broken” marriages.

Most problems can be worked through when a couple puts in the effort to communicate better than they have been. Despite how much each person may see the problems for the marriage as belonging to their spouse, more than likely, both parties have things they need to work on in order to make the marriage successful again.

There are many reasons why a couple may have problems in their marriage that would warrant counseling. Lack of communication, parenting differences, work and family balance problems, sexual intimacy issues, recovery from affairs, and “drifting apart” are all things that can be worked through during marriage counseling. Naturally, some of these subjects are hugely difficult to get through, especially affair recovery. Many people wonder how anyone could stay with someone who would cheat on them, but many couples do it with the help of a couple’s counselor.

Austin-based marriage counselor Kathleen Snyder describes herself as “gentle, yet direct.” This is often a necessary quality for marriage counselors who have an extremely difficult job of guiding feuding spouses toward a solution that could make or break their marriage. Few people will willingly admit that they’re wrong without a little prodding, so marriage counselors have to be willing to ruffle some feathers. At the same time, coming on too strong and pointing out every flaw right away is likely to make one or both of the clients run for the door. A good couple’s counselor knows how much to push and how much to give, and is able to pass on their own skills of communication to their clients.

Of course, not everyone is going to see success after going to counseling. Some couples really do have irreconcilable differences. However, if you’re starting to consider divorce, there is so much more to gain by going to counseling with your spouse than there is to lose. Many marriages probably could’ve been saved with a little more time and a lot more effort. Hopefully, with counseling services, in general, becoming more and more talked about, more marriages will make it through their rough patches than before.

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